Of leaving...

A Million Miles Away

Here inside of me, lies a feeling,

A secret feeling the world should never know,

Of how joy and sadness, together stealing,

My heart and my soul; “Oh how great is this woe!”

It started out small, unnoticeable at first,

Just as how most things of the earth so often do.

But then it grew till I feared it would burst,

It was then that I knew I was in love with you.

The feeling was reciprocal; of this I am sure,

‘Twas your care, your touch, your eyes that gave you away

But alas the exhilarating joy that I felt as it were,

I murdered and threw out; I couldn’t let it stay.

So I pretended and lied; I hid my feelings well,

I made my mind Emperor and Ruler Supreme,

“Pay no heed,” I told myself, “to the many tears that well…

and fall down to the earth in trickling streams”

For as sure as the East is far from the West,

We were never made nor meant for each other,

Not this lad, not this lass,

And I will tread this path no further.

I wish you knew of all the pain and tears,

I felt when I ripped myself from you.

And how a thousand daggers my heart did pierce,

When I said and did all, save what was true.

Yet although I ignored what I so desperately wanted us to be,

I could not say goodbye nor push you away completely.

So I dwelled in your shadow, yet, a speck of dust in your sea,

The pain and the sorrow…”Oh God, help me!”

And then as if a little girl’s prayer had been answered,

There came in the form of a portal, strong and true,

A way out; the solid excuse I needed,

To take me a million miles away from you…

A million miles away from your being,

A million miles away from ever seeing,

Your smiles, your frowns, your ups, and your downs…

I’m glad to be away from the ‘you’ that I’ve found.

But alas I have realized that the most tragic part,

Is that a million miles away with you, I left my heart…

***

Photo of the Sunset: taken in Langkawi, Malaysia